Throwback : Chapter 3 2015

" An apple a day will keep anyone away, if thrown hard enough "

Ekhem...if you ask me what I hate the most in life, I think it will be THROWBACK. I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember. Hmm...but then, why am I here writing about this which sounds really like THROWBACK...? hmmm. Yeah, well, they are about things I don't want to remember but, I need to remember...

I say I don't want to remember but that doesn't mean I won't...well...

Chapter 3, 2015. It's March 2015.

So many things happened and I'm being honest here if I say March 2015 was the toughest month ever! Like ever! You know that when you never know about things too much in one month but then suddenly you know too many things and things seemed like getting harder days by days, how can you stay silent and keep pretending like it will be okay, it will be alright.

3rd March :

I got my SPM's results. I got 4A+, 2A, 1A-, 2B+, 1B, 2C+. I cried for the first time in March 2015 because I never expected for that kinda results and I know exactly how many people I just let them down because of that. Hmm..but no, it's not about anybody else. About me, only me...I'm the one who hurts the most (until now) because of that results.

Hmm...anyway, if I still can't accept that, I'm mean in some kinda of ways, so I think the best thing that I can do now is to just accept the results with open heart.

( Huhu, sapa suruh aku dok berangan lebih nak dapat banyak A's....hmm...I'm so sad)

I think the moral here is not to expect anything when it's not so sure...but how can I ever not expect anything when I'm only a human...

sobb...sobb...

Rezki orang lain2...hanya orang yang tahu erti syukur je tahu menghargai segala2 yg terjadi

16th March :

It's someone's birthday. I'll remember what he said on that day, for some reasons, I want to remember them.

23rd March :

I know this is a nothing to do with me. But then, Lee Min Ho and Suzy caught to be dating...what??!! Actually, I'm not his fan anymore but you know, when you cared about someone since 2009 until 2014, so when this news came out in 2015...of course, it would still be something like big issue to you, right ? hmm...not you, I mean...me. Yeah, to me, it's kinda really big. But then I don't care anymore, because the next day, was harder.

24th March :

I couldn't believe after reading something about 1D. I had a bad feeling for it.

25th March :

Zayn left One Direction. ...???!!!!! It's hard for me to chew it. I really couldn't bear it. So bad that I cried like it's something that worth to cry for. You know that when you really into a band that for some reasons made you feel better all this time, then suddenly one member left....it's hard. Really really hard.

When the only thing you want to do at night is just sleep...but your brain can't shut down and makes you can't fall asleep but just cry and cry with hope it will be alright...

Before this, I thought that 3rd March was the hardest, but honestly this fact was harder than hardest! You know what I mean...

31st March :

" Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again, so I changed "

I feel like I finally can accept the fact about Zayn left 1D, but then...

That song, 'I won't mind' by Zayn and Naughty Boy...urghhhh!!! I'm sick of this. Anyway, I've already listened to it, well...I have no comment and I don't want to have...I just, well...hmm...I won't mind!

p/s : In March 2015, finally, I've been called for two interviews, one for Darul Quran, and another one is IPG, but the interviews will be soon in April, I don't think I want to attend it, but then...let's see how..

When it rains, it pours...

but soon, the sun shines again.

After all, there's always a rainbow after a storm, when one door closes another opens, after death there is life, and after heartbreak there is a stronger and happier person. And that person is me. I'm stronger and happier now...