Clandestine Liaison

Hey. Long time no updates...and yeah, I'm not busy at all actually.
It's just I don't know what should I write anymore...

My semester break is not more than what you can call 'unproductive'
Basically, I just make small improvement...really really really small in living my life.
'Unproductive', because I guess nobody notices it except me...and sometimes, I don't notice it too...did I really make any improvements ?

Hmm, let's see...
I wake up...eat...pick my sister at school...internet...sleep...the end.

See ?

Anyway, I still would like to update on what's going on with my life lately...
So, as I already told you, I stopped being One Direction fan for a while.
By that, I mean, I don't Google their name every single day anymore...or wake up and keep looking for new pictures, new updates...nahh...no. I stop doing that.
But then, I still listen to their songs but not that much anymore...not everyday.
I'm not gonna say I'm glad doing that or what...but, that's the best for now I think. I'm really shocked with the amount of time I have...
which also means...I realize that I have a lot of free time and yeah, I don't really know what to do with that time...

A lot of times, I just lie down on my bed...and...
Quora.
Ha, as I don't have Twitter, Facebook or Instagram...Quora is my thing.
I'm pretty addictive with it.
I love reading all the answers...and when my favorite Quorans answer something, it's like my daily vitamins...
That keep me going...motivate me...
and well, I really can't wait to start my next semester.
I don't want all the motivations to fade away, if I can motivate myself almost every single day, that's good.
For my future...
and it will be better if I can take small actions every day.

Hmm...

Besides, I'm relearning English.

I'm pretty bad in English as it's not my first language...but I really really love it and want it to be my daily language...

Also, my Tagalog. I still learn that language too...and it's been like 7 months now...
Can you believe that ?
Hmm, you can speak Tagalog with me, I understand them pretty well...but I don't really have the chance to use it as I don't know anyone who can speak that language with me...
But that's alright...I speak to myself...I know it sounds crazy...but yeah, that's my next update :

I speak to myself.
Everyday.
I just realized that people don't care about you.
As much as you thought.
So, I've decided not to give a damn about it and just go on with my life.

I stop keep updating myself with what other people are doing...like my schoolmates (both secondary and primary schools)
I left the Whatsapps' groups...

And I really see it clearly how much people don't care...

So, that's it. If they don't really care about my present, why should I care about them ? Am I right ? Or am I wrong ?
I don't know...

What I know is something in me that says, "I want to start a new life, new goals..."

And one more thing, I've decided not to keep in touch with people that once mean something to me.
I don't specifically say that this is about my ex...no...
I mean, my old friends...my current 'friends'
Ha...

I was really upset at the fact that I was the one who have to start every conversation with them...
I don't want to be that kinda person anymore...

I know that there's nothing wrong with it...
I mean, what's wrong with starting the conversations with people that you care ?

But it hurts when you want to talk with someone but the conversations that you both are having...mostly, are about you interviewing them...asking them about what's going on...
They just...hmm,
I mean, it's true that you can feel it when people don't really want to talk to you...

So, yeah...

I'm almost fully accepting the fact that, I have to live alone...on my own...

Hmm, about my ex...we still keep in touch. Because I care about him, and he cares about me too. I love talking to him once in a while because, he never makes me feel like I'm interviewing him...
Ahh...you know what I mean...
and I don't see any problems of being friends with him if he's like that. I mean, what's more that I want in a friendship ?

Ha, enough talking about that...
After turning off notifications from YouTube (I only turn on notifications from Luke Korns), I can see how much I don't use YouTube as much as before now...
I mean, I used to be so addictive, so this is really a better improvement...because Luke rarely uploads videos...come on, Luke...

Btw, I still watch YouTube every day, it's just I limit myself...
The only reason I watch YouTube every day is because PewDiePie uploads videos every single day!
And he always does live streaming too...

Don't know why, but lately, I love his videos more than I'm supposed too...well, his videos have that power to make me feel better.

Hmm, one more thing...
I've been drawing a lot too...I even keep my own art journals...
I'll show it to you, one day. I hope, you'll like it.
Hahaha...jkjk
It's okay if you hate my drawings, buddy.

Oh, I already wrote a lot...still, the title doesn't seem to fit.
The thing is...I put that title because I want to talk about this one thing.
Hahaha...
Sorry for calling it, my "Clandestine Liaison"
It's a bit too much for calling it...that way.
Whatever.

Hahaha...

Actually, it's been like 2 months or more...
I've been crazy about 5 Seconds Of Summer!
Yeah, it's true...I can't stop myself from listening to their albums every single day. Yes. Every. Single. Day.
And yes, I already memorized most of their songs, not just from their first album, but first EP!
Crazy, right...
But I really really like them...and I regret it so so much that I wasn't paying attention to them before...I mean, back then, I only know their famous hits like, 'She Looks So Perfect', 'Amnesia', 'She Kinda Hot' etc...and well, I focused more on One Direction...
Hmm...
But who cares about the past...now, it's me and 5SOS...

Oh yeah, I can't wait to read their books too...already order them so yeah....they're on their way!

Alright, I think there's nothing more can I say about my life...

I really wish time, will tick away, faster from now...
Because I want to go back to Uni now...
I really really can't wait to start my new semester...
So that, I can learn things and mend my mistakes!

Ha, alright...so what about you ? What are you doing lately ?

Bye!